November Writing Challenge 2018 - 30 - Rewrite Someone Else's Play

THE THIRTIETH CHALLENGE

Rewrite a play of someone else’s

WOW

…

HEY!

…

You made it! (or you didn’t and that’s okay too- no really it is I’ve only finished about half the time when I try to do these. Kids, ya know? Life. Etc.)

If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.

Why do this? Well, for me it goes back to the essence of theater and promoting it as inherently an act of play - even the writing of it!-  dangerous, delightful, adult, play.

It’s a bit of a yogic practice to be sure- good days and bad days- but it’s a mistake to try to hold back the waters and pray that it all works out when the dam bursts. It’s much better to live your life- idk why the water metaphor but--- building up muscles walking next to the creative river.

Anyway- last challenge. Here it is:

CHALLENGE: YOU. Rewrite a play of someone else’s. From this challenge. From classic works. From whatever. Boil it down to yourself with a sentence like “essentially this is a play about bad bosses- just like when I worked at Groupon (or whatever).” Then rewrite the play from your perspective, your life markers, yours and you and u.

Make it personal. A campfire story about how you got here.

And… add a dream sequence in the middle

Make it theatrical. Make it a rain dance.

Then smack us back down into the reality of the first part of the play.

Don’t forget to advocate for yourself.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself.

Obama says “Don’t boo, vote.”

I say “Don’t bitch, write.”

I love you for reading these.

I love you for choosing an artist's life. You are a leader in your community whether you feel like one or not. Whether they express it or not, other (muggle) people know you’re dangerous, powerful, and creative. They know you’re full of mystery and potential.

Honor yourself at the end of this.

Heal. Rest. Rest.

Celebrate it AS a thing. The end product is YOU- not the writing. The writing can’t happen without you, being in tune, doing that river walk (see above).

‘Til next year!

-Aaron

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(I’m trying to do a riff on Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya, with most of the genders flipped.  The young trophy wife is instead a trophy husband, etc.  So the professor, GWENDOLYN, has come with her new younger husband JONATHAN, to summer at the family farm of her late husband, now run by her daughter, OLIVE, and former sister-in-law, CONSTANCE.  The local doctor, ESTHER, makes frequent visits.  OLIVE pines for ESTHER, but she has her eye on JONATHAN, and it may be mutual.  Which is even more awkward for ESTHER’s friendship with CONSTANCE, for she also pines for JONATHAN.  Right now, I seem to be in a meditative phase where none of the characters are talking to each other; they’re instead engaging in conversation with inanimate objects.  And so it goes…)

CONSTANCE kneels by a bed of autumn roses – a mixture of blooms in oranges and yellows and reds.

                          CONSTANCE

Such lovely things.  It seems a shame to pick you.

The ROSES look to CONSTANCE.

                          ROSES

If you live in there, and I live out here, how are we ever going to see and appreciate each other’s beauty?

                          CONSTANCE

You want me to cut you down?

                          ROSES

It’s the only way I can be near you.

                          CONSTANCE

But you’ll die.

                          ROSES

We’re all going to die.  Flowers soonest of all.  September is here anyway.  Would you prefer I die out here alone in the chill?

                          CONSTANCE

No, of course not.

                          ROSES

Take me inside, where I can be warm, with you.  Let me brighten your rooms.  You’ll tend me just as closely in there as you do out here.  You’ll keep me alive as long as you can.

                          CONSTANCE

I will.

                          ROSES

And if there’s someone you want me to impress and watch over for you, I can do that as well.

                          CONSTANCE

Beautiful autumn roses – lovely, sad roses.

                          ROSES

We’ll be less sad together.  You could bloom as well.

                          CONSTANCE

I have the clippers.  I’ll be gentle.

                          ROSES

Do it quickly.

Oh!  Oh!

                          CONSTANCE

I have you.

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OLIVE sits at a piano.

The PIANO waits impatiently.

                          PIANO

You’ve dusted me and polished me.  Now play me.  I’m not a piece of furniture.  I’m meant to sing.  But I need you to touch my keys.

                          OLIVE

I’ll disturb mother.

                          PIANO

She and her books can walk outside.  We are less mobile.

                          OLIVE

What if I play badly?

                          PIANO

You’re not liable to play well if you don’t play at all.

                          OLIVE

I won’t offend you?

                          PIANO

You only offend me by not allowing me to truly speak.  I need your caress to set my voice free.

                          OLIVE

But the whole house will hear.

                          PIANO

Let them.  The silence in this place is suffocating.

                          OLIVE

You seem so sad.

                          PIANO

There is nothing sadder than an unplayed piano.  If you touch me, I’ll perk right up, I promise you.

OLIVE lays her hands gently on the keys, but don’t press down to play the notes yet.

                          PIANO (cont’d)

Oh, the warmth of your fingertips.  I’ve missed you.

                          OLIVE

I’ve missed you, too.

OLIVE plays first one chord softly, then another.

                          OLIVE (cont’d)

You sound so lovely.

                          PIANO

We sound so lovely.

OLIVE starts picking out a little tune.

                          OLIVE

You’re magnificent.

                          PIANO

Dance with me!

OLIVE plays the PIANO with abandon, not caring who might hear.

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JONATHAN finds the DOCTOR’S BAG, left behind.

                          JONATHAN

The doctor’s bag, but no doctor.

JONATHAN moves closer to the bag.

                          JONATHAN (cont’d)

It’s not like her to leave her tools behind.

The DOCTOR’S BAG speaks up.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

She has another life.

When not looking after human life, she cares for the trees.

For that, I have no tools for her.

                          JONATHAN

I’ve always wondered what she keeps in here.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

Go ahead and look.  I won’t tell.

If she valued her privacy, she wouldn’t leave me behind.

                          JONATHAN

If you’re certain –

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

Take a peek.  You’ll kick yourself if you don’t.

When JONATHAN still hesistates –

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

I won’t bite.

JONATHAN reaches into the DOCTOR’S BAG, carefully removing each tool and setting them in ordered rows next to the bag.  He notes the location and order as he goes and arranges things in such a way that he’ll be able to reverse the process.

Last of all, he pulls out a small pocket flask for liquor.

                          JONATHAN

Oh, doctor.

JONATHAN opens it and sniffs.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

Mostly still in there.  It’s been a good day.  Only one person died.  And they were old, and not in pain.

                          JONATHAN

Her lips have touched this flask.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

Yours should, too.

JONATHAN looks around.

Piano music can be heard in a distant room.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG (cont’d)

Nobody here but you and me.

JONATHAN brings the flask to his mouth for a small, gentle sip.

                          JONATHAN

It burns.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG

Most medicine does.

JONATHAN picks up the stethoscope.

He puts the eartiips in his ears.

He places the diaphragm against his chest.

                          DOCTOR’S BAG (cont’d)

You can hear better if it’s against your skin.

JONATHAN slips the diaphragm inside his shirt.

It’s cold.  It makes him jump just a bit.

Then he stands still to listen.

                          JONATHAN

I have a heart.

Good.

I wondered.

***************************

GWENDOLYN sits, surrounded by stacks of books.

                          GWENDOLYN

My brain used to retain a library of knowledge larger than this.  Now bits and pieces, facts and quotations, just keep slipping out one after the other, day after day.  And I don’t know I’ve lost anything until suddenly I’m reaching for a word and it isn’t there.

                          BOOKS

That’s why we exist.  To hold things for you, for later.

                          GWENDOLYN

I read you, but then it all falls out again.

                          BOOKS

Not all.

                          GWENDOLYN

Some.  More than I’d like.

                          BOOKS

That’s why you keep us.

                          GWENDOLYN

I keep you for vanity.  So people know that I’ve read you.  I command you.  That you’re up here in my head.  Something they haven’t even touched, couldn’t possibly understand.

                          BOOKS

No one’s quizzing you.

                          GWENDOLYN

I’m terrified.  The blood coursing through my skull, my heartbeat, it’s deafening.

Piano music is heard in a distant room.

                          GWENDOLYN

The joy in that music mocks me.

                          BOOKS

It’s only music.

                          GWENDOLYN

I’m scared.  I feel so small.

                          BOOKS

Come here.  Get lost in us for a while.

The BOOKS gather round and embrace GWENDOLYN.

                          BOOKS (cont’d)

We’ll keep you safe.

************************

ESTHER, wearing work gloves and carrying a small bucket with gardening tools, walks up to a massive tree, towering out of sight.

In its shadow, she finds a small sapling.

                          ESTHER

Well now, you’re not going to get a lot of sun here, are you, tiny thing?

                          SAPLING

I keep stretching, but I can’t reach the sky and I can’t reach the light.

ESTHER kneels down beside the sapling.

                          SAPLING (cont’d)

It’s been so long since anyone even noticed I was here.

ESTHER touches the sapling’s leaves with a gloved hand.

                          SAPLING (cont’d)

It’s been even longer since anyone touched me.

                          ESTHER

I think the solution is just to move you about six feet to the left.

ESTHER gets out a small trowel.

                          ESTHER (cont’d)

I’ll try to be as gentle as I can.  I may not get every single one of your roots.  You’ll have to forgive me.

                          SAPLING

I can grow more roots, what I need is more sun.

ESTHER digs carefully around the sapling.

                          ESTHER

There now.  I think that’s got it.

ESTHER digs her hands into the dirt around the SAPLING.

The SAPLING giggles.

ESTHER scoops the SAPLING up in her arms, roots dangling.

                          ESTHER (cont’d)

I dug a hole over here the other day, thinking I might need to move you.

ESTHER gently sets the SAPLING in the hole, then fills in the dirt around it and pats it down.

                          SAPLING

It’s so warm here.  I’d forgotten what the warmth of the sun was like.  It’ll take some getting used to.

                          ESTHER

There.  That’s a start.

                          SAPLING

I wish I could offer you shade as a thank you.

ESTHER walks over to the massive tree while addressing the SAPLING.

                          ESTHER

You’ll be able to someday.

Just like this tree my father planted now shelters me.

ESTHER sits in the shade of the massive tree.

ESTHER takes off the gloves and gets a book out of her bucket.

The TREE speaks in a deep voice from above her head.

                          TREE

Welcome back, Esther.

                          ESTHER

Now let’s see, where was I?

ESTHER reads, leaning against the TREE, as the SAPLING wiggles in its new spot, settling in.

Piano music can be heard coming from the house just beyond the woods.

November Writing Challenge 2018 - 29 - Lies And Asides

THE TWENTY-NINTH CHALLENGE

Lies and Asides

Write a play where one or more character speaks to the audience in asides.

Asides are always truthful, so write lots of lies in the dialogue

Use dramatic irony- if both characters would only open up and be honest with each other, the impending tragedy would not be about to happen!

Asides are really only in morality tales- sadly I believe. Prove me wrong!

Use life and death stakes

Bonus: Make yourself one of the characters- and the asides your most vulnerable thoughts. Change the names to protect the innocent

(Hilarious.  I kind of did this one already three days ago as a gimmick in the parental time fluid prompt I posted.  I’m reaching back into the 20/20 challenge instead)

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THE TWENTIETH CHALLENGE

Write a play that has a total budget of $20 and lasts 20 minutes

Sorry again for delays. I DO try to keep ahead, but ultimately this is supposed to be a write every day challenge (Thanksgiving you'll get to get ahead I promise).

If you're in a bind and I'm BEhind, feel free to just email me with something written (that counts as a theatrical event--- lights up lights down minumum- low bar!) and it's all good.

Andrew Jackson is on the $20 bill.

$20 is a common low-end ticket price here in Chicago.

THE TWENTIETH CHALLENGE

Write a play that has a total budget of $20 and lasts 20 minutes.

Rules:

1.

It must utilize all common theatrical design elements in a purposeful and theatrical manner.

·       LIGHTS

·       SOUND

·       COSTUME

·       SCENIC

·       PROPS

2.

It must incorporate each of the FOUR NATURAL ELEMENTS- water, wind, earth fire.

3.

It must last EXACTLY twenty minutes.

4.

It should probably be about Andrew Jackson, either directly or indirectly.

5.

Try to focus on things that are INHERENTLY THEATRICAL.

6. The entire production can cost no more than $20

Tips:

Assume the actor has their own cell phone, which contains a flashlight function, camera, and working speakers.

Fire from a lighter is a good cheap trick.

You can set the play anywhere.

You do NOT have to operate within the law or acceptable audience-performer norms.

Intimate symbolism is gonna be key here.

A pack of cotton balls or toothpicks for 99 cents (or things like that) will be helpful.

Magic and sleight of hand are always fun. (Who knew you spelled it sleight? Wow!)

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Two actors come out on stage dressed in T-shirts from the playwrights’ voluminous T-shirt collection.  One is in a BASSACKWARDS USA T-shirt with the outline of America printed in reverse (as you’re looking at it, California coast on the right, Maine on the left).  One is in a T-shirt with the CAPTAIN AMERICA shield on the front.

                          CAP

Dude, get the lights.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Oh, right.

BASSACKWARDS scurries over to the light switch on the wall and turns the regular lights in the room off.

CAP and BASSACKWARDS then whip out their cell phones and turn on the flashlight app to pierce the dark.

They each train the light onto their chests for a moment to highlight their insignia.

                          CAP

It’s the twenty dollar, twenty minute show.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Which I guess means we’re not paying the actors.

                          CAP

I don’t think the playwright’s getting paid either.

                          BASSACKWARDS

And we certainly don’t have money for a director.

                          CAP

And we only have twenty minutes, and a lot of ground to cover.

                          BASSACKWARDS

No pun intended.

                          CAP

Oh yeah, we’re supposed to cover the four elements, earth, air,  fire and water.

Then CAP and BASSACKWARDS quickly pull out five identical folding chairs from the playwright’s home (the sort that fold out into fairly realistic looking straight back chairs, with the back upright rather than tilted back, so they naturally look like a lower case letter “h”)

They arrange two of them on their side on the floor in a configuration to look like the capital letter “F”

                          BASSACKWARDS

See, if you will, the letter F, for fire.

CAP gets out a matchbook and lights a single match dramatically.

                          BASSACKWARDS (cont’d)

Put that out.

CAP does.

                          BASSACKWARDS (cont’d)

We can’t afford to light anything on fire.  Nor can we afford a fire extinguisher to help put anything out.

                          CAP

We have water.

BASSACKWARDS gets out a spray bottle full of water, and sprays on the match, just for good measure.

Then sprays CAP in the face.

Then spritzes himself, as if with a fine cologne.

                          BASSACKWARDS

The water’s for later and I’m not taking any chances.

CAP carefully sets the doused match aside, either on the floor or in his pocket.

                          CAP

Backup fire?

                          BASSACKWARDS

Backup fire.

                          CAP

That matchbook was from a set of 50 in a box that only costs $1.79, in case anyone was keeping track.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Blew nearly a tenth of the budget right there.

                          CAP

Well, your spray bottle’s $1.98, so there’s another tenth of the budget.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Water’s free.

For now.

                          CAP

Most of these clothes are ours.  The T-shirts and the chairs are the playwrights.  This phone’s mine, the other phone is the playwright’s – for upcoming sound cues, some of which he owns, some of which we downloaded special. 

                          BASSACKWARDS

And we have my as yet still unpocketed phone for more magic.

                          CAP

Kinda cheating, but don’t all shoestring theater productions.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Shoestrings are ours, too.

CAP sets his phone down on one of the F chairs, light pointing up.

BASSACKWARDS gets an orange sheet of tissue paper out with a flourish.

                          CAP

Set of multicolored tissue paper - $1.29

BASSACKWARDS gets a little plastic Scotch tape dispenser out of a pocket with a flourish.

                          BASSACKWARDS

The playwright already had some clear Scotch tape but a little dispenser full like this only costs $2.19.

                          CAP

Yikes.

BASSACKWARDS and CAP work together to tape the tissue paper in a cone shape over the phone to create some colored light.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Like the campfires of old.

                          CAP

For storytelling.

                          BASSACKWARDS

And because it’s a $20 bill we have for a budget, we are also supposed to give a nod to Andrew Jackson, the face on the $20 bill, and one of our most racist presidents.

                          CAP

But not one of our worst presidents.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Which, honestly, doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

                          CAP

But we’ll get to that.

We have four elements and only twenty minutes, roughly 5 minutes per element, so we’re already cutting into somebody’s time.

                          BASSACKWARDS

In honor of both of our themes, and we’re not cheating, I swear, let’s kick off the sound cues with something that would really piss off Andrew Jackson – a group of rich, award-winning black men singing.  That would be the group Earth, Wind & Fire, whose hit “September” we just downloaded for $1.29.

                          CAP

Fifteen second dance break!

BASSACKWARDS plays the song and the two of them (and the audience if they like) dance during the intro.  After the song proper gets going, the actors return to the script.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Andrew Jackson, slave owner.

                          CAP

Andrew Jackson, the seventh President of the United States of America.

                          BASSACKWARDS

And according to historians, considered on the second most racist president we’ve ever had.

                          CAP

That honor would go to Andrew Johnson, who became our 17^th president after Lincoln was assassinated.

                          BASSACKWARDS

His Reconstruction proclamations gave amnesty, property and voting rights to all but the highest Confederate officials after the Civil War, the return of property pretty much nullifying the whole “forty acres and a mule” promise to former slaves.

                          CAP

Dance break!

Actors and audience dance to the first chorus of “September” – when the next verse kicks in, the actors continue:

                          BASSACKWARDS

Andrew Johnson, also not a fan of the 14^th or 15^th amendments to the constitution giving citizenship and voting rights to freed slaves.

                          CAP

Male former slaves only though.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Yes, still four amendments away from the 19^th for the ladies.

                          CAP

Didn’t oppose the 13^th amendment abolishing slavery, though.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Yes, let’s give Johnson his due.  He just pulled all black troops out of the South so the former Confederate states could terrorize and kill African Americans back into submission – or off to the North.

                          CAP

Dance Break!

Actors and audience dance to the second chorus of “September”

But hang on, because it’s a -

                          CAP (cont’d)

Double chorus!

Actors and audience continue dancing.  When the next, very short verse, kicks in, the actors continue:

                          CAP

He vetoed both the Freedmen’s Bureau Bill and the Civil Rights Act of 1866.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Which Congress passed anyway by overriding his vetoes.

                          CAP

Let’s all pause to remember a time when Congress had courage.

                          BASSACKWARDS

With a Dance Break!

Actors and audience dance to the third and final chorus of “September”

But hang on, because it’s a -

                          CAP

Double chorus!

Actors and audience continue dancing.

But hang on, because now we’re at the –

                          CAP (cont’d) and BASSACKWARDS

Outro!

Actors and audience dance the song into fade out. (total run time for the song 3:35, if anyone’s counting)

                          BASSACKWARDS (cont’d)

Andrew Johnson was also the very first president to be impeached by the House of Representatives.

                          CAP

But he remained in office because he was acquitted in the Senate.

                          BASSACKWARDS

By one vote.

                          CAP

In addition to being considered our most racist president, is also considered to be one of the ten worst.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Not so, Andrew Jackson.

                          CAP

Only our second most racist president.

                          BASSACKWARDS

And regularly included in the top 20 of our best presidents.

                          CAP

Now remember, we’ve only had 45, so –

                          BASSACKWARDS

Still, he’s more often found in the top 10.

Second most racist, still considered a lot of the time to be one of the 10 best.

                          CAP

The most racist presidents, though, a pretty eclectic group.

Ronald Reagan.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Welfare queens, war on drugs, mass incarceration.

                          CAP

Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Japanese internment camps, New Deal tilted to favor whites over blacks.

                          CAP

Thomas Jefferson.

                          BASSACKWARDS

Slave owner, breeder, rapist.  Don’t get me started on Sally Hemings.  Great guy.

                          CAP

James Monroe.

                          BASSACKWARDS

The Monroe Doctrine – allowing for intervention and colonization in foreign, aka inferior, countries.  Classy.

                          CAP

And that’s just the top six.

                          BASSACKWARDS

But let’s not gloss over President Andrew Jackson, and what he did to the Indians, aka Native Americans, aka the people who were here already when the white European settlers started stomping all over the place.

So.  Much.  Stolen.  Land.

CAP has place another chair on the floor to turn the F into an E.

                          CAP

Earth.

CAP then has to hurry and reconfigure the chairs, possibly adding a fourth, to make a proper W, as BASSACKWARDS continues.

                          BASSACKWARDS

The Indian Removal Act of 1830.

The forced relocation of the tribes of the South to reservations in the west.

The Trail of Tears.

                          CAP

Water.

CAP takes the spray bottle of water and reverently sprays all around the space and the W as BASSACKWARDS continues.

                          BASSACKWARDS

And, again, slave owner. 

BASSACKWARDS puts up big air quotes for the next one

                          BASSACKWARDS

“Owned” perhaps up to 600 HUMAN BEINGS over the course of his lifetime.

(and I ran out of time, so much more material)

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