Looks like between 25-27 of you are still
writing
CONGRATS!
For better or for worse, do something illegal on
stage REALLY.
Like, break the law.
The performers perform an illegal act AND they
really do it.
Let your Id go wild
or
Make a social justice point
Abuse the audience or your performers
or
Honor the common man and flaunt the law
Write TWO endings- one for getting away with
it.
One for being arrested.
Cause a riot.
Heal the masses
Which is more fun for you today?
Thank you everyone!
Little Red Cyrano opens tomorrow. If
you're around Chicago, I'd be happy to see you there.
**********
OK, raw material for first draft achieved, so
I'll try an actual challenge on the day assigned for a change...
**********
Three men walk out on
stage dressed in comfortable bathrobes of various styles and colors.
They are WILL, RYAN, and
ZAC.
They acknowledge the audience, since there's not going to be a
fourth wall.
WILL
Good evening,
everybody. Thanks for joining us.
RYAN
We should probably get
this out of the way.
ZAC
Yes, plenty of warning
before you crossed the threshold into the theater.
WILL, RYAN and ZAC open their robes and let them drop to the
floor.
WILL
You were promised male
nudity.
RYAN
Male nudity achieved.
ZAC
I've been hitting the
gym pretty hard in order to get ready for this so feel free to ogle as you feel
compelled.
WILL gathers the robes and folds them carefully to set aside as he
speaks.
RYAN retrieves a bottle of lubricant.
ZAC gets out a string of condoms, unfolding them with a flourish.
WILL
So, nudity on stage.
RYAN
Simple rule really.
WILL
Flaccid penis is art.
RYAN
Erect penis is
pornography
WILL
Which could get us shut
down by the authorities.
RYAN
Who have been notified.
WILL
We are not ashamed of
the human body.
RYAN
Or the pleasure it can
give.
ZAC has begun gently stroking himself to an erection.
WILL
To review.
RYAN makes reference to his own penis, for the moment resting, not
at attention.
RYAN
Flaccid penis, art.
WILL refers to ZAC's penis, at full attention.
WILL
Erect penis,
pornography.
ZAC
Not actual pornography,
of course.
RYAN
Just theatrical
pornography.
WILL
And since we've come
this far -
ZAC
And since you've been
warned -
RYAN
Might as well go all the
way.
RYAN applies some lube to his own buttocks while -
ZAC gets one of the condoms out of its wrapper and puts it on his
erect penis as -
WILL keeps the conversation with the audience going.
WILL
Now, in case you haven't
read the program notes fully.
ZAC
We've all be tested,
clean bill of health.
RYAN
No germs to be spreading
around.
WILL
And no one here's being
coerced.
ZAC
All consenting adults.
RYAN
Very consenting.
ZAC
We're exhibitionists,
truth be told.
WILL
We didn't believe they
were serious when they put out the call for this project.
RYAN
And yet, here we are.
WILL
It's not the first time
any of us have done this.
ZAC
Sex, he means.
RYAN
Public sex, though,
that's new -
ZAC
Speak for yourself.
RYAN
Really?
ZAC
Once or twice. The danger of it is kind of its own turn on.
RYAN
I can understand that.
WILL
Yes, it seems you do.
RYAN
Oops.
WILL
Double the pornography
on stage now.
ZAC
That's actually quite
flattering. I thought nerves would keep you
down for most of it.
RYAN
It's kind of exciting to
finally have an audience.
WILL
(to audience)
In rehearsals, we all
got quite used to each other.
ZAC
Very used to each other.
WILL
Strangers makes it all a
little more -
RYAN
Transgressive.
ZAC
Ready?
RYAN
You know I am.
WILL
Does he?
RYAN
We might have warmed up
a little bit in the dressing room.
WILL
I can't leave you two
alone for a minute.
ZAC
Don't be jealous,
Will. You'll get yours.
WILL
(to audience)
That's true. We're supposed to keep switching off in
rotation for the duration of the run of the performances. Just to keep things interesting.
RYAN
I don't think the
producers needed to worry quite so much about us getting complacent without the
variety.
(to ZAC)
Why aren't you inside me
already?
ZAC
Sorry, pal. Didn't mean to keep you waiting.
RYAN bends over a bit.
ZAC walks up behind RYAN and slowly inserts his penis into RYAN's
anus, while WILL and the audience watch.
ZAC (cont'd)
Everything OK?
RYAN
Absolutely. You?
ZAC
Oh yeah.
RYAN
Will, you might want to
further explain to the audience why we're doing this.
ZAC
(thoroughly enjoying himself)
Apart from the obvious.
WILL tears himself reluctantly away from watching in order to talk
to the audience. His attention may wander
back to ZAC and RYAN fucking now and again during the following.
WILL
Right. This isn't just porn without a plot.
RYAN
(also thoroughly enjoying himself)
Though we understand
that a number of people are annoyed by the artifice of storytelling just to get
two human bodies in the same space for the purpose of screwing.
ZAC
You can say
"fucking." I mean, at this
point -
RYAN
You're right, there's
hardly any point in being demure about it now.
WILL
Some of you wish for a
bit more story.
ZAC
Either to make it seem
less clinical.
RYAN
Or because you enjoy bad
acting - or convincing yourself that the actors involved are doing it for any
other reason than the money.
WILL
When you think about it,
some of them are extremely good actors.
They've got you fooled.
RYAN
Unless the money really
is enough to make them happy.
ZAC
Or they really love sex
and the money's just an added bonus.
WILL
The video will follow
them around for the rest of their lives, of course.
RYAN
Potential downside.
ZAC
But some guys would like
a record of what their bodies looked like in their prime.
RYAN
Or the kind of guys they
got to screw in their prime.
ZAC
Honestly. Fuck.
RYAN
Fuck. Guys they got to fuck in their prime.
ZAC
Like you. Damn.
RYAN
Like me.
How do I forget your
girth? You were just up in there an hour
ago.
ZAC
Your ass springs back
into shape in remarkably swift fashion.
RYAN
Why, thank you, kind
sir.
ZAC
Just want to make sure
I'm not ripping you open.
RYAN
I'll let you know. For now, keep at it.
WILL
The producers just
wanted to run counter to the puritan impulses of society and revel in the human
body, and more specifically the thing that seems to make everyone even more
squeamish.
ZAC
Guys fucking.
RYAN
Anal sex, in particular.
WILL
Don't get me wrong,
there's all sorts of things you can do with another guy but this particular act
really seems to horrify people.
ZAC and RYAN, still having sex, very much enjoying themselves.
ZAC
Fate worse than death.
RYAN
Central to countless
horror and torture scenarios.
WILL
Don't get us started on
prison movies.
RYAN
The human body is a
beautiful thing.
ZAC
Sex is a beautiful
thing.
WILL
And the more it's out
there in the general consciousness, the less strange and foreign it'll be to
people.
RYAN
And maybe we can all
obsess about actual problems.
ZAC
Hunger.
WILL
World peace.
RYAN
Poverty.
ZAC
Disease
WILL
Global warming.
ZAC
Justice reform.
WILL
Voter supression.
RYAN
You know, the little
things.
(to ZAC)
Unlike you.
ZAC
Why, thank you, sir.
RYAN
No, thank *you*
WILL
Once the producers have
explored this performance concept fully -
ZAC
The more fully the
better -
RYAN
Amen -
WILL
The idea is to actually
incorporate live sex acts on stage into stories as the play dictates.
ZAC
I'm getting really
close.
ENDING ONE
A policeman appears onstage.
WILL
Oops. Guys.
We have company.
RYAN
Please tell me he's a
stripper.
POLICEMAN
I am not a stripper.
ZAC
I should stop now.
POLICEMAN
You should stop now.
And put on some clothes.
And come quietly.
I mean -
Come with me.
I mean -
You're under arrest for
public indecency.
ZAC withdraws slowly from RYAN.
ZAC
Sorry, folks.
RYAN
No happy ending tonight.
WILL
For anyone.
ZAC
Thank you for supporting
the experiment, as far as we got anyway.
POLICEMAN
Gentlemen.
ZAC takes off the condom and puts it in a nearby trashcan.
RYAN takes a small towel and wipes his butt, then hands it off to
ZAC, who wipes his penis.
WILL, RYAN and ZAC put on their robes and leave with the police
officer.
ENDING TWO
RYAN
You are amazing.
ZAC
Right back at ya.'
ZAC has an orgasm inside RYAN.
Their pace slows down.
ZAC catches his breath, lays against Ryan's back, perhaps gives
him a little kiss on the shoulder.
RYAN
I'm still fully turned
on at this point.
ZAC
I can take over
narrating duties, Will, if you want Ryan to take a turning fucking your ass.
WILL
Sounds good to me.
RYAN
And me.
ZAC withdraws from RYAN.
RYAN puts on a condom.
WILL take the lube and prepares his ass.
ZAC removes his own condom and tosses it in the nearby trashcan,
and takes a small towel to wipe off his penis, as he proceeds to take over
narration.
ZAC
To review -
ZAC refers to his own now softening penis.
ZAC (cont'd)
Art.
ZAC refers to RYAN's, and perhaps also WILL's, much more erect
penis.
ZAC (cont'd)
Theater pornography.
RYAN's penis slides slowly into WILL's anus.
ZAC (cont'd)
We keep switching off
like this, we could go on for hours.
WILL
The exits are clearly
marked.
ZAC
(to WILL)
Relax and enjoy,
buddy. I got this.
RYAN
And I got this.
WILL
Oh God, I love you both.
RYAN
And we, you, buddy.
ZAC
You can feel free to
leave at any time if you're uncomfortable, or if you've just seen enough for
now. We'll keep chatting and fucking
until they need to turn the lights off.
ZAC takes the chance to catch his breath again -
while RYAN continues fucking WILL.
(I could actually keep writing this, but I need to stop and post
it at some point.)
(to be continued)
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