tweet review - #mnfringe show 15 - The Place I Return To: fascinating, detailed look at depression (and making it to the other side) from young artist who journaled and wrote poetry in the moment to capture the experience; well worth 45 min. of your time; very highly recommend - 5 stars
This isn’t just a play about depression, it’s a play about surviving. The thing that originally fascinated me about The Place I Return To is the thing that it more than delivered on in performance. The thing that seemed different about this show, in comparison to a lot of other entertainment that deals with the subject of depression, is that the artist involved here, Abdimalik Ahmed, documented the details of his depression in real time. Most folks don’t have the presence of mind to create any kind of record. This is understandable. They’re depressed. Some folks process their life through the written word and others don’t. A lot of folks who write about depression are writing about it from the other side (if they’re writing from personal experience) and looking backward, trying to recall exactly how things felt. Many of them do a good job of reconstructing their mental and emotional state. Here, in The Place I Return To, that reconstruction isn’t necessary.
“I don’t really want to forget anymore.”
Despite the fact that Ahmed was only 18 when this documentation started, in the form of audio diaries later transcribed, and poetry, the writer is remarkably clear-eyed and versatile with language, able to convey the specifics of what he’s feeling, how he thinks he got to the state he’s in, and what the future might look like. The first two thirds of the show are journals and poems composed one year apart, in two different stages of his depression. The final third is from two years later, after Ahmed has begun constructing for himself what most would consider a “normal” life. It’s not a forced happy ending. There’s still work to do. But the artist has learned from where he’s been because he can look directly back at the facts on the ground for him at the time.
“The birds never fail to remind me.”
The choice of the name Cornucopia Productions for the producing entity putting on the show is telling, I think. A cornucopia is a symbol of plenty, overflowing with an abundance of good things. The writer of The Place I Return To is aware of his blessings, not just his struggles. In fact, between the first and second performance of his show, he traveled to Duluth to be with family and friends and celebrate his 22nd birthday. The final third of the show was actually written quite recently, so this show is very much a marker of where he is now as well as where he’s been.
“I’m trying not to collapse on the eve of the promise.”
Is this some of the most accomplished writing or poetry I’ve seen at the Fringe Festival this year? No, but that’s not the point. This is, more importantly, some of the most honest writing I’ve seen at the festival. And that’s what makes it compelling. This is a young artist going through enormous changes (think about who you were at 18, 19 and 21). The fact that he documented his experiences at the time, and examined and critiqued his state of mind as much as was possible, is a gift, both to him and to us.
“I can feel what I’m feeling and not let it define me wholesale.”
Ahmed’s faith kept him from taking any drastic action like suicide in his darkest hours. And his family reached out until they were able to connect with him and get him the help he needed. (Not that I want the theater community here to lose having his talent stay local, but it sounds like getting away from the long, dark Minnesota winters wouldn’t be a bad idea either.) Even so, he provides the unique perspective that, now that he’s no longer in the dark looking for a bit of light, he’s living in the light but aware that the darkness is out there, and the possibility of misfortune and loss is something that it takes discipline not to focus on or wallow in.
“I’ve got something to say and I’m gonna let my fingers surprise me.”
It’s good to have a document of where you were, so you can better appreciate where you are. The Place I Return To is trying to share some hard-won wisdom. It’s a gift I hope more Fringe-goers accept. The guy could use an audience for a very personal and well-constructed solo show.
5 Stars - Very Highly Recommended
Here's some handy links to a rundown of 5 and 4.5 Star shows I've seen this year, also the 4 and 3.5 Star shows, and the rest, plus this year's Top 10 list, and Top 11-20 List, and the full list of all returning favorites in the 2023 Fringe, plus a link to all the 2023 Minnesota Fringe Festival coverage.
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