Wednesday, November 07, 2018

November Writing Challenge 2018 - 7 - Dystopian Love Story


THE SEVENTH CHALLENGE
Dystopian Love Story

When I was an assistant at a television literary desk in LA, I heard it said that audiences will give you one thing, and the rest has to be justified and comfortable.

That thing today is a sort of dystopian future where X has happened.

EVERYTHING ELSE MUST BE FORMULAIC ROMANCE OR ROMANTIC COMEDY
I SWEAR IF ANYBODY WRITES SOMETHING OTHER THAN A ROMANCE I’M GONNA probably just like give you a hug and ask why you feel the need to defy everything I say and do. Don’t you know I only want the best for you? Don’t you know I’m looking out for you? I’m protecting you from YOURSELF, Donny, and if you can’t see that maybe… no I don’t want to say it. Maybe… oh this is going to hurt. Maybe you don’t… love me?

Cough
You’re supposed to say something…
Cough.

When you finally do, you say, “but Aaron, Romantic Comedy is a HACK genre.”

“Good!," I say, while dropping this shtick.

I DARE you to write HACK.

Or more specifically, I dare YOU to write it because what any genre needs is someone with your freaking brilliance and life experience to give something GENUINE to it for a change.  How’s the world supposed to get any better if all the talented people huddle together in a corner and comment on each other’s napkin scribbles? Get out there!

It’s a present. I’m giving you a present. Tear the wrapping paper up, but stay inside the box.

So………..

What dystopian thing has happened?

Examples:

Your daughter just accepted a marriage proposal from an Artificial Intelligence being that exists in the Cloud and was made by Apple. You’re a PC family.

You and your friends have just retired from Walmart in a glorious mass walk-out have just turned 70, but due to a medical breakthrough your life expectancy just jumped forward another sixty years. You’ll live to be at least 150 and your kids will likely live to be 200.

You are ranked by the government based on your social media activity, exercise routine (or lack of), and economic well-being. You posted something that was viewed as insensitive to some community and now--- you’ve los the right to vote or—- enter your home- until you fix it. Fix it.

We are under martial law. The internet is censored. Power is rationed. Cell phone service is shut off. You do, however, know Morse Code.


(dystopia later, because I love romantic comedy, but continuing the Cymbeline riff for now)


Meanwhile, in another part of the palace -

ACTOR 2 switches puppets to take on the role of LUCIUS, the Roman Empire’s ambassador to England.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
Hello, Cymbeline!  Just dropping by from Rome.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Welcome, Ambassador Lucius!

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
Time to pay up!

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Excuse me?

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
Your annual tribute to the Roman Empire.
In the form of money.
We've been doing this every year since we installed you on the throne.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Oh.  Right.  Do we still have to keep doing that?

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
Yes.  We do.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Is it really OK for you to be ordering me around like this?  After all, I am king here.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
You're only king here because we allow it.
And we allow it, in part, because every year you - or rather, the resources of the country we enable you to rule - enable you to pay us tribute.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Oh.
Well, I have a new queen.
And her son to look after.
Expenses.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
As far as I can see, that son isn't here.  Come to think of it, neither is your daughter.  And your two sons have been missing since their infancy.  That should cut down on expenses.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
I'd just as soon skip the payment this year, if that's all right with you.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
It's not.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Oh.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
If I send this disappointing news back to Rome, they're probably going to send troops to remove you and install a new king.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
I have troops, too.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
You'll need them.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
Sorry about this.

                          ACTOR 2 (LUCIUS, puppet)
No, you're not.

                          ACTRESS 3 (CYMBELINE)
You're right.  I'm not.

Elsewhere, in the woods around Milford Haven -

ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN) appears, dressed as a young boy, all set to be some nobleman's page.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I will not die of heartbreak.
I will not die of heartbreak.
I will not give him - or anyone else - the satisfaction!
I am going to keep hiking through these godforsaken hinterlands until I find myself a new life.
Life as a boy can't be any worse than life as a woman.
Dammit.
I said that out loud, didn't I?
Well, that probably means I'm doubly screwed then.

ACTRESS 2 switches out the CORNELIUS puppet for the GUIDERIUS puppet, and joins ACTOR 1 as ARVIVARGUS, the two brothers appearing out on another ridiculously manly hunting expedition in the deep forest, armed with swords.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
Speaking of doubly screwed -

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
No!  God!  You always get these segues wrong in the most awkward way humanly imaginable.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
But, we're twins.  So I thought -

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
Yes, the double part works.  However, the screwing part -

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
Oh!

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
See?  Didn't quite think it all the way through to the end, did you?

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
I'm very sorry.  I didn't mean to imply -

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
That's quite all right.  We men frequently joke about inappropriate things, am I right?

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
We men?  You're barely more than a boy yourself.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
A very pretty boy.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Why, thank you.  I think.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
Come now, brother.  We don't talk to boys that way.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
No, of course not.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
And clearly this is a young man from court.  A page to some nobleman.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Quite so.  You guess correctly.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
Who do you serve?

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I'm currently - between masters.  My former master was sent into exile.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
Though we are men who live in the great outdoors, we still have manners, but have forgotten them.  Apologies.  My name is Cadwal.  And this is my twin brother Polydore.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I am called - Fidelis.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
A man of faithfulness.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
So my mother wishes me to be.  God rest her soul.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
Our mother is also dead.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I am very sorry to hear it.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
She died when we were very young.  We do not remember her.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
But our father has raised us well.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
As best he can.  A man alone.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
We are all men alone.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
Are you lost in these woods?

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Being between masters, I am also between homes.  I wander because I have no place to be, no place to call my own.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
Where do you lay your head at night?

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Under whatever tree will provide me shelter.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN) coughs.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
I am afraid you are not built, sir, for life outdoors.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I fear you are right.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
You shall stay with us.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
Yes, stay with us, Fidelis.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
You are very kind but I could not impose.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
Just until you find a new master, and a new home.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
We find you very pleasant company.

                          ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
And I, you.

                          ACTRESS 2 (GUIDERIUS, puppet)
It's almost as if we know you.

                          ACTOR 1 (ARVIVAGUS)
You certainly look familiar.


(to be continued)



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