Sunday, November 15, 2015

Writing Challenge - Beowulf


Challenge: Write a play that is your version of Beowulf. DON'T LOOK ANYTHING UP. Just trust whatever - if anything- that you remember from that one time you read it in English class... or that 3D movie with Angelina Jolie.  Truth is the enemy of theater. Don't don't don't be faithful to FACTS. Just feel it. Make it epic. Make it poetic. Make it yours. Make a new Beowulf.

RHYMES WITH DUCK (cont’d)

                          ELOHIM
I feel like I just keep crashing forward and the minute I turn my back the past behind me just gets ground up into dust.  It’s not like I don’t have any memory.  I have a very clear memory that I used to know something, that it used to be there.  But for the life of me I couldn’t tell you what it is, what it was.  I know just enough to know I’m losing something, but not enough to catch it or call it back.

                          ARISTOTLE
Like the beginnings of things.

                          ELOHIM
Like Beowulf.  If you asked me about Beowulf, you what the first thing I’d do is?  See if I can get a decent internet connection and try dredging up some basics.

                          ARISTOTLE
You shouldn’t beat yourself up about Beowulf.  Not everybody knows about Beowulf.

                          ELOHIM
But shouldn’t I?

                          ARISTOTLE
I think, in your job, having a grasp of the Bible is probably more important.

                          ELOHIM
It’s just one of those things that I feel like they should have made me read in school but they never did.

                          ARISTOTLE
What’d you get instead?

                          ELOHIM
James Joyce’s “Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man.”

                          ARISTOTLE
That’s about as far afield from Beowulf as you can get.

                          ELOHIM
Tell me about it.

                          ARISTOTLE
Still, they both have heroes, who have their own sort of adventures, and journeys, and learning about themselves as they grow.

                          ELOHIM
Sure, but James Joyce doesn’t have any dragons.

                          ARISTOTLE
Or Vikings.

                          ELOHIM
Where they Vikings?

                          ARISTOTLE
I’m not sure.

                          ELOHIM
I want to get out my phone right now so bad it’s killing me.

                          ARISTOTLE
I remember Michael and Hope’s dog on thirtysomething was named Grendel.

                          ELOHIM
Oh, and Gary made the case to Michael in one episode that Alice In Wonderland was better than Beowulf.

                          ARISTOTLE
We know more about thirtysomething than Beowulf.

                          ELOHIM
I’d feel worse about that if I didn’t know that I could walk up to anyone in their 20s right now and mention this and they’d say “thirtysomething? What’s that?”

                          ARISTOTLE
Serves us right.

                          ELOHIM
Grendel was a monster, right?

                          ARISTOTLE
There’s a giant in their somewhere, too.

                          ELOHIM
Was there a love interest?

                          ARISTOTLE
Probably some willowy blond girl.

                          ELOHIM
Maybe she was a fierce warrior.

                          ARISTOTLE
I don’t think they had a lot of strong feminist archetypes back in those days.

                          ELOHIM
But since we remember absolutely nothing –

                          ARISTOTLE
It’s really hard to know.

                          ELOHIM
Beowulf got us Tolkien.

                          ARISTOTLE
Right, so if you’re in the Tolkien school of fantasy consumption, Beowulf’s your guy.

                          ELOHIM
And if you’re not, Beowulf’s the guy to blame.

                          ARISTOTLE
Not that there weren’t heroes before in that vein.

                          ELOHIM
They just didn’t stick.

                          ARISTOTLE
The way Beowulf’s not sticking with us right now.

                          ELOHIM
The sword and sorcery thing, I never really got it.

                          ARISTOTLE
Is it the God thing?

                          ELOHIM
How do you mean?

                          ARISTOTLE
Well, Beowulf was never meant to be a world view or anything.  It wasn’t a myth or legend about gods that anyone actually believed in.  It wasn’t history that anyone thought actually happened.  Beowulf was always just a story.  He was a fictional hero.  One of the first.  Everyone agreed that he was a creation.  It might have been a rollicking good story, but that’s all it was.  You like digging into why people believe the things they believe.  There’s no belief here.  It’s a fairy tale.

                          ELOHIM
The story isn’t the framework.  It exists inside of a larger world view.

                          ARISTOTLE
And you’re a big picture guy.

                          ELOHIM
I still feel like I’m missing something.

                          ARISTOTLE
Every time someone asks you about Beowulf.

                          ELOHIM
Yeah.  I feel like I should care more.

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