CHALLENGE: Go find
someone else's play.
[The Sex ones from 11/8 were pretty fun ]
THEN
Write the scene that happens AFTER someone else's play ends.
(Author’s note: I’m not trying to be antisocial, I’m really
not. This new idea that sprung up out of
the Treat Yourself challenge will just not leave me alone. I feel like I have to keep pushing scenes
through every day on this challenge schedule until it runs out of steam or I
do)
TV
BOYFRIEND
(another scene)
JAKE
I
know you said no presents for the anniversary –
KEN
Jake,
c’mon. You’re killin’ me here. It’s all I can do not to run out to the
nearest pet store and buy you a puppy.
JAKE
Seriously?
KEN
See,
you are so excited just by the idea – as I suspected - that my resolve is
completely crumbling.
JAKE
OK,
we can talk about that later, in depth, I swear, because you’re right. You thinking about that for me makes me want
to jump your bones right this second –
KEN
Well,
you can hang on to that thought if you want.
JAKE
Down,
tiger. I brought this whole thing up
because I wanted to ask you about something else you could do for me.
KEN
Which
is - ?
JAKE
Aw,
you’re not gonna just say “Name it and it’s yours”?
KEN
Experience
has taught me to get more information first.
JAKE
OK. So. I
wanted to get your permission for something.
KEN
Uh
oh.
JAKE
Not
“uh oh.” This isn’t an “uh oh” scenario,
I swear.
KEN
Your
assessment of that and my assessment of that have differed at times.
JAKE
I
want to get another tattoo.
KEN
Jake,
it’s your body. You don’t need to get my
permission to –
JAKE
A
tattoo of your name. On my body.
KEN
Oh.
JAKE
See,
I get nervous at times like this and you get absolutely inscrutable.
KEN
Inscrutable? Listen to you.
JAKE
Fuck
you, elitist playwright boyfriend of mine.
I can use big words, too. You’re
rubbing off on me.
KEN
Word
choice.
JAKE
Oh. Yeah.
Now I’m distracted again, too.
KEN
A
tattoo of my name.
JAKE
Yeah. Please say you don’t hate it.
KEN
I
don’t hate it.
JAKE
But
– ?
KEN
That’s
a – big step.
JAKE
Tattoos
don’t have to be permanent.
KEN
Yeah,
but when you get ‘em, you figure you’re keeping them.
JAKE
Yup.
KEN
You’ve
still got all your tattoos from when you were a teenager.
JAKE
Yup. I’m just trying to make you feel less weird
about it. I’m not entirely sure why.
I
could try and tell you it doesn’t have to mean anything but I’d be lying. They don’t always mean something. Sometimes they just look cool. For a while there it was just me
posturing. Covering myself, hiding
myself, just another mask, maybe. There
was a while there where I enjoyed the pain, too. And there’s the intimacy of another man
putting his hands on my body, tracing intricate patterns on my skin, something
I could never allow myself to enjoy in public outside of a tattoo parlor. But a bunch of my tattoos don’t mean
anything. I want them to start meaning
something again.
KEN
It’s
a really beautiful romantic gesture for our one year anniversary.
JAKE
Exactly
my thought.
KEN
I
don’t want to screw you up. My
name. I don’t want my name to mess with
–
KEN gestures up and down the length of Jake’s body.
-
this.
JAKE
This?
KEN
All
this.
JAKE
I
already have tattoos. Several
places. Not small ones. I have a sleeve down the length of one
arm. We’re not talking about sullying a
pristine canvas here. Your name would be
in good company.
KEN
I
like your scribbled-on canvas. I
do. I guess I’m just used to you being
this beautiful and –
JAKE
Aw,
man. Beautiful?
KEN
Handsome.
JAKE
No. Beautiful is fine. You just keep saying things that make me want
to pounce on you and I’m trying to stay on topic.
KEN
What’s
the topic again?
JAKE
Your
name. My body. Ink.
KEN
I’ve
kind of got you memorized by now.
JAKE
So
you don’t want me to get any new tattoos ever?
KEN
No,
not saying that. Again, your body. Just, my name –
JAKE
Is
three letters long. It’s not gonna
devour all remaining open space on the canvas.
My current tattoo artist is great at getting new elements to blend with
what I’ve got. And I wasn’t even
thinking it’d be around any of the current ink.
KEN
Where
then?
JAKE suddenly gets a little shy.
JAKE
Well,
I was thinking, maybe putting it somewhere only you would see it. So it’d be, like, our thing.
KEN
Our
little secret.
JAKE
I
know we’re jettisoning all secrets right about now, but yeah.
KEN
Since
you – since we – are going to be going very public –
JAKE
This
could be private.
KEN
Oh.
JAKE has a sudden thought.
JAKE
Oh! Not my dick.
I’m not crazy.
KEN
Good
lord, no. Nothing touches that part of
the canvas.
JAKE
‘Cept
you and me.
KEN
Focus,
Jake.
JAKE
Right. OK, your objection now would be - ?
KEN
I’m
starting not to have any.
JAKE
Excellent!
KEN
So,
you were thinking - ?
JAKE
I
don’t know – we’re talking below the navel, above the knees – that still leaves
a lot of territory.
KEN
Not
with the things you wear, or don’t wear, sometimes.
JAKE
True.
KEN
Not
your butt.
JAKE
Really?
KEN
You
have a magnificent butt.
JAKE
And
it’s yours.
KEN
I
don’t need it labeled as such.
JAKE
OK. Further thoughts?
KEN gets a look in his eye.
KEN
Well
–
JAKE’s having a little trouble reading Ken at
first.
JAKE
Yeah?
KEN grins a little grin, nods downward toward the
area in question.
JAKE’s eyes go a little wide.
JAKE
Oh! There?
Really?
KEN
That’s
where I mark you.
JAKE
It’s
a little ticklish.
I’m
not sure I could hold still.
KEN
But
you like the idea?
JAKE
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
KEN
The
“non public hickey” place.
JAKE
That’s
gonna be a tricky place to ink.
KEN
If
you need a volunteer to hold your junk out of the way –
JAKE
Behave.
KEN
For
how much longer?
JAKE
Not
much, I swear. My pants are getting
tight.
KEN
So?
JAKE
Every
time I scratch myself there from now on –
KEN
Be
honest, every time you scratch it now –
JAKE
We’re
both thinking the same thing.
KEN
And
nobody knows.
JAKE
You’re
kind of a crazy genius on this score.
KEN
You,
as always, are good inspiration.
JAKE
So
I have your permission?
KEN
Not
that you need it, but – yeah.
JAKE
Outstanding!
I
mean, nobody but you’s ever gonna see it –
KEN
Barring
the occasional naked selfie.
JAKE
I’m
trying to cut back on those.
KEN
That
wasn’t a complaint.
JAKE
Oh.
KEN
You
were saying?
JAKE
Even
though it’s not out there where the world can see, I wanna do this, so people
know I’m yours.
KEN twitches just a little.
JAKE (cont’d)
What?
KEN
Nothing. Silly.
JAKE
Spill.
KEN
Just
the whole notion of ownership –
JAKE
It’s
not a slavery metaphor, dude. It’s not
the shackles of some fucked up medieval arranged marriage.
KEN
It’s
an amazing romantic gesture.
JAKE
Thank
you.
KEN
Which
is why I’m getting one, too.
JAKE
Absolutely
not.
KEN
Hypocrite.
JAKE
You
came to me un-inked.
KEN
And
you have changed me in ways I will never be able to adequately express to you
or anyone else.
JAKE
A
tattoo ain’t doing that.
KEN
You’re
doing it.
JAKE
I’m
–
JAKE stops.
KEN
Go
ahead. Say it. You’re half my age.
JAKE
No.
KEN
You
think I’ll look ridiculous.
JAKE
No.
KEN
Then
what?
JAKE
Tattoos
are my thing.
Get
me that puppy instead.
KEN
The
tattoo isn’t for you. It’s for me.
JAKE
You
just got a say in mine.
KEN
OK. What were you thinking?
KEN can see the wheels turning in Jake’s head.
KEN (cont’d)
I
am not getting a tramp stamp.
JAKE
OK,
just a fleeting thought. Already
gone. It will never re-enter my brain
again.
KEN
Jake
–
JAKE
You
gotta admit, I would see it there. A
lot.
KEN
Wouldn’t
exactly be our little secret, though.
JAKE
Yeah,
OK, you got me. I don’t want you wearing
long tail shirts in public for the rest of our lives.
KEN
Same
place, both tattoos?
JAKE
Dang.
KEN
It’s
gonna hurt like a bitch, isn’t it?
JAKE
Your
first. Maybe. I’m not gonna lie. But I know a lot of great artists. It doesn’t have to be painful. Well, not too painful.
KEN hesitates.
JAKE (cont’d)
You
don’t have to.
KEN
I
want to.
Probably
for a lot of the same reasons you do.
JAKE
Even
before that article drops and the whole world knows, you’re kinda my first real
boyfriend. No secrets, no shame.
KEN
And
let’s face it, you’re probably my last.
JAKE
Hey.
KEN
Unless
you’re planning on dumping me when I turn completely gray or something.
JAKE
Hey!
KEN
I’m
teasing.
JAKE
It’s
not funny.
KEN
Sorry.
JAKE
And
let’s be honest, you may not die before I do, buddy. Let’s just be clear on that.
KEN
Hey.
JAKE
I’m
just sayin’. You know what I do for a
living.
KEN
You
won’t be doing that forever.
JAKE
Some
athletes don’t live to retirement age, dude.
KEN
Please
stop.
JAKE
And
I’m always gonna be a hot dog on the slopes.
It’s in my bones.
KEN
Your
broken bones.
JAKE
Yeah.
KEN
You
had to make me think about this, didn’t you?
I was doing really well at pushing it down.
JAKE
Are
you panicking on me right now?
Seriously?
KEN
Maybe
a little.
JAKE
Dude. We were joking about you riding along in the
ambulance the other day.
KEN
I
don’t want anything bad to ever happen to you.
JAKE
Ken.
KEN
One
of the fringe benefits of this May-December thing –
JAKE
Hey. You’re September, October at the very latest.
KEN
Missing
my point.
JAKE
Which
is - ?
KEN
I
have never imagined a scenario in which I didn’t die before you did.
JAKE
Kenny
–
KEN
I’ve
been kidding myself, haven’t I?
JAKE
Kinda’.
But
I have to say it’s adorable.
Morbid. But adorable.
KEN
Don’t
laugh at me.
JAKE
Never.
KEN
If
I have your name carved on my inner thigh, you are not allowed to die on me,
mister. That’s part of the deal, you get
me?
JAKE
I
get you.
KEN
Can
we talk about the puppy now? It’s
probably safer.
JAKE
Absolutely.
KEN
I
was thinking another rescue dog, like Moose?
JAKE
You
are scarily perfect sometimes, you know that?
KEN
Just
don’t die on me.
JAKE
Not
planning on it.
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