Monday, November 23, 2015

Writing Challenge - Funeral (not really)


Challenge: Write the last two minutes of your funeral.
Bonus- make it sincere
Bonus- you are most loved remembered for the worst thing you ever did as a
youth
Bonus- set it in a very strange location
Bonus- violence and nudity are involved, but it makes sense that this is so

(Author’s Note: I was SO tempted to try this one.  But again, too much death lately.  And this Treat Yourself challenge has created a monster.  Every day a new scene pops up.  I just had inklings of two more after this.  It’s not losing steam.  I feel like I have to chase it rather than put it off and hope I remember it later.  Thankfully, the internet and my computer stash of challenges remember, so I can dip back in later and catch up, maybe get another play out of it.  Meanwhile - )

TV BOYFRIEND

Their first night together.

JAKE and KEN, in Jake’s bed.

Both men regaining their breath after a rather enthusiastic session of love-making.

JAKE rolls off to lie next to KEN.

                          JAKE
Whoo.

                          KEN
You can say that again.

                          JAKE
Whoo.

                          KEN
Oh man, I don’t think I can keep having sex with a guy who has that kind of sense of humor.

                          JAKE
Yeah, you can.

                          KEN
Yeah.  You’re right.  I probably can.

                          JAKE
It’s all in the timing, baby.

                          KEN
That it is.  That it is.

                          JAKE
Ready for round three?

                          KEN
Maybe just a minute or two for some of the blood to return to my head so I don’t pass out on you?

                          JAKE
You OK?

                          KEN
Yes.  God.  I was just joking.  Don’t be so nervous.  You’re not gonna kill me.
I think.

                          JAKE
Good.  ‘Cause I’m not done with you yet.

                          KEN
You’re still hard?

                          JAKE
Yup.

                          KEN
How is that possible?

                          JAKE
Clean living.  Training.  Practice.

                          KEN
Oh, so I’m like a sparring partner?  Warming you up for the main event.

                          JAKE
You are the main event, brother.

                          KEN
So are you.

                          JAKE
There’s not, like, a whole string of –
I mean, I don’t do this –

                          KEN
Neither do I.
Yet here we are.

                          JAKE
Here we are.

KEN tilts his head back for a moment and lets his eyes shut.

                          JAKE (cont’d)
Hey, don’t go to sleep on me.

                          KEN
I wasn’t.  Just catching my breath, resting my eyes, collecting my wits.
I’m sorry, do you want me to go?

                          JAKE
What?  No.

                          KEN
It’s OK.  I don’t mind.  That’s how these things go.

                          JAKE
No.
Please.
Stay.

                          Pause.

                          KEN
Happy to.
After all, I was promised at least round three, if I recall.

JAKE nestles in the crook of KEN’s arm, lays his head on his chest, nuzzles like a large dog settling into his favorite spot.

                          JAKE
Play your cards right I’ll fuck you til daybreak.

KEN is momentarily startled by the shift in roles but is surprised by how comfortable it quickly becomes.  Almost without realizing it, he starts running his fingers absently through Jake’s hair.

                          KEN
Now that’d be quite a card trick.

                          JAKE
I’ve missed this.

                          KEN
Been a while?

                          JAKE
Yeah.  You?

                          KEN
Same.
Probably a little longer than you.

                          JAKE
I don’t fuck around.

                          KEN
Neither do I.

                          JAKE
Yet here we are.

                          KEN
Here we are.

A moment of companionable silence.  They breathe together.

                          KEN (cont’d)
Penny for your thoughts?

                          JAKE
That’s kinda cheap.

                          KEN
Didn’t use to be.
Guess we don’t do small change anymore.  Penny for your thoughts, don’t take any wooden nickels, brother can you spare a dime, quarter for a call at a pay phone.

                          JAKE
I remember pay phones.

                          KEN
Thank you.  The chasm of time was growing a little wide for my taste there for a second.

                          JAKE squeezes KEN.

                          JAKE
You’re not old.

                          KEN
Certainly don’t feel like it tonight.

                          JAKE
Stamina.  Gotta love it.

                          KEN
What’s on your mind?

                          JAKE
Apart from sex?

                          KEN
Apart from sex.

                          JAKE
I was just thinking about the soldier.
And the closet.

                          KEN
Thank God that’s over, right?

                          JAKE
Closet’s not over.

                          KEN
Yeah, but the government sanctioned and reinforced closet in the military is.  Now the only closets we have to worry about are the ones we build ourselves.

                          JAKE
Yeah.

                          KEN
Didn’t realize I was writing a period piece when I first started wrestling with the idea back in 1997.

                          JAKE
Wow.

                          KEN
What?

                          JAKE
I was six.

                          KEN
Fuck me.

                          JAKE
Careful what you wish for.

                          KEN
Oh man, time is just kinda turning inside out when I’m with you.

                          JAKE
You’re only as old as who you feel.

                          KEN
Callbacks.  The danger of being pithy around a guy with a sharp mind.

                          JAKE
You’re right, though.  It’s great that it’s over.

                          KEN
Didn’t think I’d ever seen the end of the policy when I first wrote about it.  Figured it’d be the last thing to fall.

                          JAKE
And we even got it before marriage equality.

                          KEN
Yup.

                          JAKE
One of the many reasons I voted for Obama.

                          KEN
Both times?

                          JAKE
Uh –

                          KEN
Oh God.  You weren’t old enough to vote when he ran the first time, were you?

                          JAKE
Close.  I was 17.  Does that help?

KEN groans and lets his head fall forward.

JAKE turns and kisses him.

                          KEN
     (of the kiss)
That helps.

                          JAKE
Would you like some more help?

They kiss again.
For a while.

                          KEN
Damn.

                          JAKE
Yeah.
We’re gonna make the next fuck a long, slow, lazy one, OK?  I wanna take my time exploring you.

                          KEN
You really are trying to kill me.

                          JAKE
There are worse ways to go out.

                          KEN
Definitely.

                          JAKE
But you can get married over the weekend and then get fired on Monday for being gay, right?  I mean, it isn’t over, not really.

                          KEN
You wanna talk politics in bed?

                          JAKE
     (unsure, but not backing off the point)
Yeah?

                          KEN
     (laughing a little)
I think I love you.

                          JAKE
Don’t tease.

                          KEN
Sorry.  Shouldn’t throw that word around lightly, should I?

                          JAKE
No.  You shouldn’t.

A kiss from JAKE takes some of the bite out of that last exchange.  But just some.

                          KEN
There’s full workplace protection in 20 states right now.

                          JAKE
So not even half.

                          KEN
No.

                          JAKE
You can get fired in 30 states.

                          KEN
Yup.

                          JAKE
And they can deny you housing.

                          KEN
Yup.

                          JAKE
See, this is why coming out isn’t easy.

                          KEN
There’s all kinds of reasons why coming out isn’t easy.  That’s just two of them.

                          JAKE
I mean, I know it’s OK for me to go on about it.  I’ve got a job, I’ve got a place to live.

                          KEN
But you probably hear people say “That’s gay” all the time, and it’s not meant as a compliment.

                          JAKE
And ski-fag.

                          KEN
Ski-fag?

                          JAKE
Yeah.

                          KEN
Never heard that one before.

                          JAKE
Stick with me, buddy, you’ll hear all kinds of things that’ll curl your hair.

                          KEN
So, yeah, there are still closets being forced on people by their job or their landlord or just general lack of government leadership.

                          JAKE
But the government can’t make people like gay people.

                          KEN
Nope.  You know the only ones who can do that?

                          JAKE
Who?

                          KEN
Gay people.  All of us.
Dan Savage says we are our own best secret weapon.  We exist in all families, in all corners of society.  If we come out, if people know us as human beings and not some scary alien idea they think isn’t part of their day to day life, attitudes change.  Laws change.
But they need to know us.
And they need to know where we need their help.
We’ve notched a few wins but you’re right, there’s still a ways to go.
We can knock some closets down.  The strongest closets are still the ones we build for ourselves.  The wood’s thick and the foundation is deep.

                          JAKE grins.

                          KEN (cont’d)
What?

                          JAKE
You said “wood.”

                          KEN
Honestly.  I am having sex with a teenager.

                          JAKE
Ew.  Excuse me.  All man here.

                          KEN
Absolutely.  My apologies.

                          JAKE
And don’t you forget it.

                          KEN
You’re not likely to let me.

                          JAKE
Round three?

                          KEN
Round three.

                          They get started.

                          JAKE
I could get used to this.

                          KEN
Don’t tease.

                          JAKE
Not teasing.
Shut up and kiss me.

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