Challenge: Write
something that only you understand and that probably only you enjoy.
If you're not giggling to yourself or blushing you're doing
it wrong.
Listen to your Id. Be naughty! Be coded. Be fun. Comment on
your work as you do it. Break and forget any and every rule except that writing
can be FUN. F-U-N!
Crack yourself up. Fall in love with yourself again.
Masturbatory writing can unleash some wonderful creative
energies. Treat yourself.
TV BOYFRIEND
Two men in bed.
Close to the climax of intercourse.
On top, plowing enthusiastically for all he’s
worth, JAKE – early to mid 20s, athletic, scruff, tattoos.
Below Jake, KEN – mid to late 40s – not at Jake’s
level physically, but taking Jake’s thrusts like a champ.
KEN
Jake!
JAKE
Oh. My.
God.
KEN
God,
Jake!
JAKE
So. Fuckin’.
Good.
KEN
Jake!
JAKE
I. Love.
You.
Both men reach orgasm.
JAKE keeps going for a little while.
KEN clutches Jake tightly as they slow to a stop.
JAKE collapses on top of Ken.
They both exhale, smile, laugh.
KEN
Holy
shit.
JAKE
Did
I make you come without touching yourself?
KEN
Yeah.
JAKE
I
fuckin’ LOVE doing that.
KEN
I
am also a fan, believe me.
JAKE
You
OK under there?
KEN
You
know I love the weight of you on top of me.
JAKE
Yeah,
but I like hearing you say it.
KEN kisses JAKE every couple of words.
KEN
I
love. The weight. Of you. On top of me.
KEN grabs JAKE’s ass and pulls him in closer.
KEN (cont’d)
I
also love the feel of having you inside me.
JAKE
I
am also a fan.
JAKE kisses KEN
JAKE (cont’d)
Say
it?
KEN
I
love you.
JAKE
I
love you, too.
KEN
So
what’s up?
JAKE waggles his
eyebrows.
KEN (cont’d)
Aside
from you.
JAKE
And
you.
KEN
And
me.
You
don’t normally plow me like a demon first thing in the morning unless –
JAKE
I’ve
only got you all to myself for another day.
KEN
Nothing
else?
JAKE
That’s
plenty.
KEN
That
it is.
I’m
so proud of you.
JAKE
‘Bout
time. I’ve been a coward.
They sit up in bed.
KEN
Hey,
don’t talk about my guy that way.
JAKE
Your
guy.
KEN
That’s
the smile I was looking for.
JAKE
My
sister wants to meet you.
KEN
See,
you think I can’t read you, but –
JAKE
Guilty.
KEN
She
knows I’m a guy right.
JAKE
Yeah,
she knows you’re a guy. She’s the first
person in the family I came out to.
KEN
Big
sis smoothed the way with the parents?
JAKE
Yup.
KEN
So
she wants to make sure I’m not a gold digger.
JAKE
What? No.
KEN gives JAKE a look.
JAKE (cont’d)
Well
– kinda.
KEN
I
don’t blame her.
She
knows about the age difference?
JAKE
Yeah.
KEN
Yeah?
JAKE
I
said you were older.
KEN
Did
you say how much older?
JAKE
Not
exactly.
KEN
Jake.
JAKE
You
don’t look your age.
KEN
But
I’m twice your age.
JAKE
You
carry it well.
KEN
I’m
not gonna lie to her.
JAKE
I
don’t expect you to.
KEN
You
don’t think she’s going to be a little shocked?
JAKE
I
didn’t want her to pre-judge you.
KEN
The
creepy old dude recruiting her younger brother to the dark side?
JAKE
Kinda. But you’re not.
KEN laughs.
KEN
Thanks.
JAKE
Don’t
be mad.
KEN
I’m
not. Honest. I’m just picturing her face.
JAKE finally relaxes a little.
KEN (cont’d)
It’s
OK, really.
You’re
carrying a lot. I can do this.
JAKE
Thanks.
KEN reaches for the box of condoms. It’s a large box.
He shakes it.
It’s empty.
KEN
Good
Lord, how can it be empty already?
JAKE
You
lost count?
KEN
I
don’t keep score, I just enjoy the ride.
Guess
we need another trip to the drug store.
JAKE
(sheepishly)
I
got three boxes.
KEN
Three? How much did you think you’d need to soften
me up for your sister?
JAKE
I’ve
only got you all to myself for another day.
I wanted to stay in.
KEN
We’ll
need food. I’m starving.
JAKE
I
ordered a pizza.
KEN
When?
JAKE
Last
bathroom break.
KEN
I
love you.
Wait,
did you time this last go round to the imminent pizza delivery?
JAKE
No. I’m not rushing anything today. We got time.
Well
–
KEN
Well,
what?
JAKE
Jasper’s
coming over.
KEN
Now?
JAKE
Any
second, actually.
KEN
Why?
JAKE
I
wanted to freak him out.
KEN
Were
you hoping we’d still be doing it?
JAKE
Nah.
Maybe
a little.
He
has a key. I told him he could use it
this morning if I was asleep.
KEN
He
doesn’t know?
JAKE
He
doesn’t know.
KEN
C’mon. He’s your teammate. I mean, he’s –
JAKE
Not
the sharpest sky pole on the slopes?
KEN
He’s
not clueless.
We hear JASPER let himself in off-stage.
JASPER
Brah!
JAKE
We’re
about to find out.
KEN plays along, hides under the sheets.
JAKE (cont’d)
In
here, brah!
JASPER
You
got a lady in there?
JAKE
No
lady.
JASPER
I
don’t believe you.
JAKE
See
for yourself.
JASPER enters – also 20s, athletic, scruffy. A guy very comfortable in his own skin.
JASPER
A
ha. Caught you. You should have told me, Jakey. I could have given you some more time.
JAKE
No
worries.
JAKE shakes the condom box.
JAKE (cont’d)
Gotta
resupply.
JASPER
My
man!
Oh,
she asleep?
JAKE
No.
JASPER
Shy?
JAKE
Introduce
yourself.
JASPER
Hello,
my lady. My name is –
KEN comes out from under the sheet.
JASPER (cont’d)
Ah!
Dude!
That’s
a dude!
Oh.
Funny.
Wait.
Not
funny.
KEN
Not
funny. I’m Ken.
Nice
to meet you Jasper.
Sorry. He wanted to fuck with you.
Er,
surprise you.
JASPER
Dude?
JAKE
You’re
really surprised?
JASPER
Isn’t
your sister coming today?
JAKE
Yeah.
JASPER
Oh. So he’s important.
JAKE
Yeah.
JASPER
Pleased
to meet you, man.
Sorry
about the –
KEN
No,
I think that’s the reaction Jake was looking for. No worries.
JASPER
Jake!
JAKE
What?
JASPER
Dude!
You’re
coming out to me. That is so cool. I am honored.
Thank you, brah.
JAKE
Yeah?
JASPER
Yeah.
But
if you need a hug, you’re gonna have to put some pants on.
JAKE
We’re
good.
KEN
Pizza’s
coming.
JASPER
Dude!
Oh,
but I don’t wannna horn in your morning after breakfast.
JAKE
I
ordered three, I knew you were coming.
JASPER
This
is why you’re my best friend.
So,
uh – this – you and Ken - ?
JAKE
Yeah?
JASPER
Been
a while?
KEN
Been
a while.
JAKE
I’m
telling you today ‘cause –
JAKE doesn’t finish.
JASPER
Yeah?
JAKE
That
interview I did?
JASPER
The
ESPN article?
JAKE
It’s
gonna drop in about 24 hours.
JASPER
And
- ?
Oh.
Whoa.
Dude.
JAKE
Yeah.
JASPER
You
have enormous balls, man.
Metaphorically
speaking.
KEN
No,
they actually are pretty big.
JASPER
Dude!
JASPER and KEN high
five.
JASPER (cont'd)
So,
you must love this guy.
JAKE
I
do.
JASPER goes in for a brah hug with KEN.
JASPER
Dude!
KEN
Pants.
JASPER
Right.
(to
be continued)
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