Sunday, November 27, 2016

Writing Challenge 2016 #27 - Bad Theater


NWC #27- "BAD THEATER" Nov 28th at 8am

I hate bad theater. Like... I hate it.

CHALLENGE- write bad theater. REALLY write it. See if you can get the arc of the needle on the bad-o-meter to turn so bad... so far to the left that it bends and bends and bends some more until it starts to reach ALL THE WAY AROUND and touch greatness.

DO NOT TRY TO WRITE GREATNESS

that isn't how this works.

Channel the dark side of the Force
Give yourself permission two days before end end of this challenge to write badly- BUT NOT LAZILY
EPIC BAD
worse than worse
Do what those assholes who ruin theater for the rest of us 'cause their audiences come to see their first show in a decade and resolve to make it the last of their lives... only do what they do MORE

Yeah?
Back your ass so far into badness that something peaks out on the other side

What is bad? up to you. the odds someone reads this are next to nil
hell even you will likely never revisit this moment again so why are you being so gutless?

Maybe you find a voice for a character you didn't know you had inside you?
Everyone needs a good antagonist. Give them their due!



(Not sure I can top the horrible aborted fetus play in my head right now.  I reached for a recent example of bad theater, or at least a bad theater idea, and ended up going down a well-intentioned white person rabbit hole, which I guess is either bad or just precious...)



BAD THEATER INTERRUPTUS

                          1
OK, so our first ensemble movement piece will be set to "Ooo, Child" by Nina Simone.

                          2
No.

                          1
What do you mean, no?

                          2
Are you black?

                          1
I think you mean African American.

                          2
Whatever.  Are you?

                          1
Clearly, no.

                          2
Am I?  Is anyone in this blindingly lily white theater company even remotely a person of color?

                          1
I'm not sure why that's at all germane to what we're doing here.

                          2
Nina Simone was a proud, dark-skinned African American, or black, woman who was also deeply involved in the civil rights struggles of her time - and sadly, continually, our time.

                          1
So white people can't use her music?

                          2
Not to make up for a lack of diversity in your acting company, no.

                          1
That's not what we're doing.

                          2
That's not what you're consciously, deliberately doing, no.  But if you're not just getting a diversity contact high off of all the things associated with the sound of Nina Simone - ?

                          1
And we're not.

                          2
Why not just set it to "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.

                          1
So I guess the later sequence we were going to set to Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come" doesn't fly with you either.

                          2
Nope.

                          1
Billie Holliday's "Strange Fruit"

                          2
You're not serious.

                          1
I thought we were.

                          2
Not unless you're depicting a lynching on stage in which white people aren't the heroes or the victims.

                          1
Art should be colorblind.

                          2
And when society is, then I agree with you.
However, that's not where we are at the moment.

                          1
Pharrell's "Happy"?

                          2
If you must.

                          1
Sam Cooke's "Wonderful World"?

                          2
     (singing, just to be sure)
"Don't know much about history - ?"

                          1
That's the one.

                          2
Sure.

                          1
So we can't address Black Lives Matter?

                          2
Not unless you actually start working with some black artists and let them lead the project, no.

                          1
But that's limiting.

                          2
Only if you circle of artistic collaborators is limited.

                          1
I have black friends.

                          2
OK.  Good for you.

                          1
I'm not prejudiced.  I'm an ally.

                          2
You don't get to choose that label for yourself.  Do the work.  Someone will tell you when you're an ally.  Maybe.  Eventually.

                          1
But this is an important issue.

                          2
So make space for people who are directly affected by it to speak to that issue.

                          1
But I feel that my artistic empathy -

                          2
When a cop pulls you over, do you fear for your life?

                          1
No.

                          2
Then you can't speak to this issue.

                          1
That's limiting my artistic expression.

                          2
In so many other ways you have access and absolutely no limitations.  Clear some of those roadblocks for artists of color.  And step aside.

                          1
Hold the door.

                          2
Essentially?  Yeah.

                          1
I'm offended by that.

                          2
It's not about you.

                          1
It's not about you either.

                          2
I'm not saying it is.

                          1
But you're standing in the way.

                          2
No, I'm standing in *your* way.  *The* way still has plenty of room.

                          1
I can just go ahead and do it anyway,

                          2
Yes you can.  I'm just trying to save you from your own worst, clueless istincts.

                          1
It's not like I'm planning to use James Brown's "Say It Loud, I'm Black And I'm Proud."

                          2
Yeah, points for that.  Not all things are that easy to spot.

                          1
Like Nina Simone.

                          2
Like Nina Simone.

                          1
But I like Nina Simone.

                          2
As do I.  She is not, however, the appropriate soundtrack to my life onstage.

                          1
So?

                          2
So if you want Nina Simone to mean something, give her an appropriate context.

                          1
Which would necessitate artists of color.

                          2
Exactly.

                          1
So white people can only do white stories?

                          2
That's simplistic, but closer.

                          1
It's not like I'm trying to stage an all-white version of "A Raisin In The Sun."

                          2
Well, we already have "Death of a Salesman" for that, so I don't know why you would need to.

                          1
I'm not staging Othello with an actor doing black face.

                          2
OK, points for that.  Never do black face.  Or red face.  Or yellow face.  Or brown face.  Basically no face that isn't your own face.

                          1
So Columbus Day or Thanksgiving?

                          2
Problematic at best.

                          1
American History in general?

                          2
Deeply troubled.  But if you can accept that white people aren't always the victims or the heroes or even central to the story of some types of progress, then -

                          1
Things might start to balance out?

                          2
As long as you do your homework and find the right collaborators.

                          1
Because progress often happened in spite of white people, not because of them.

                          2
There are some white heroes.

                          1
But they exist alongside, not instead of, heroes of color.

                          2
Right.

                          1
So what do we do about the show?  This show, right now?  Where we just have white people?

                          2
There are still struggles.

                          1
Just don't appropriate someone else's.

                          2
Or pretend that yours are the most pressing or insurmountable.  Acknowledge that white privilege and institutional racism help you get halfway to your solutions.  Don't be ungrateful.  But don't just take advantage and then pretend you did it all on your own.

                          1
And work to dismantle corrupt systems.

                          2
There ya go.

                          1
We'll need to rethink.

                          2
Rethinking is good.

                          1
It's kind of exhausting.

                          2
Well, we've had it easy for a LONG time.

                          1
Progress doesn't come without hard work.

                          2
And a willingness to sacrifice a little of your own comfort.



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