The Sixth Challenge
Host An Election
In 1996, I went to a
thing called Boy’s State in Nebraska growing up. It was a weeklong model
student government. We had to decide whom to elect to what offices, and from
that came a set of values that drew support from one candidate over another
until the whole thing came to a head as we elected a governor.
Yes, you can ignore
this prompt. Yes you can write in the normal mix of 3-5 nameless and genderless
characters you have a habit of using. Yes, you can write with a fourth wall.
OR
Divide the audience.
Name them.
Have a debate over
the name of something that has regional variance.
Example: Whether Soda
should be called Pop or Coke or whatever.
Be inspired by various forms of appeal
Have “Appeal to
authority” with expert testimony
Have “Appeal to
authenticity” with personal narratives
Have “Appeal to
tradition”
Have “Appeal to
logic”
Have “Appeal to ad
nauseum” repeating a point over and over and over
Etc
Each of these can be
a character or a history or an interjection
Each should be
treated as a mini-play with an inciting conflict between what they want to say
and someone else- the other politician? A clan of audience? And each
resolve in a climax.
Finish with a victor-
bonus to surprise yourself and the audience that it’s satisfyingly the opposite
of your point of view.
(once again, for now, continuing the Cymbeline
riff)
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
I
just want you to know I'm really uncomfortable with all of this.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Me,
too!
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
I
thought, you know, being a peasant, everything being above my pay grade, I
wouldn't have to do any of the heavy lifting - decisions, assassinating people,
that sort of thing.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I'd
be extremely grateful if you didn't kill me.
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
When
you say extremely grateful - ?
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
There
would be money involved, yes.
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
I
don't think you can stay here right now.
You're much too obvious a target.
I mean, I won't kill you, but if he finds out you're still alive, he'll
probably just hire someone else.
ACTRESS 2 (POSTHUMUS)
I'm
very mad.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Unreasonably
so.
ACTRESS 2 (POSTHUMUS)
Such
is the overpowering passion of my love.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
You
can take the overpowering passion of your love and shove it up your -
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
You
should dress up as a boy!
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I
should do what, exactly?
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
Well,
if you don't disguise yourself somehow, you're going to be a big glowing target
wherever you go.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
You
have a point. But can't I just pretend
to be a much less important woman?
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
You
have all your teeth. It's a dead
giveaway.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Boys
in this country don't normally have all their teeth either.
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
They
do if they're raised to be pages for noblemen.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
Who's
going to hire me? All the noblemen know
who I am.
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
That's
just your cover story in case you run into anyone. Plus, boys have an easier time traveling
alone.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
That's
true.
So
I guess I have to dress up like a man.
ACTRESS 2 reanimates the CORNELIUS puppet on her
arm.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
This
happens a lot in Shakespeare.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
I
suppose I could go to Milford Haven anyway, for a start. It's pretty far away from court. From the city in general.
ACTOR 2 (PISANIO)
Plus,
it has Haven in the name.
ACTRESS 1 (IMOGEN)
That
*is* comforting. You're right.
Off
to exile I go, just like my formerly beloved husband.
ACTOR 1 as the CLOTEN puppet, and ACTRESS 2 as the
CORNELIUS puppet step forward.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet) and
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
No
exorcizer harm thee,
Nor
no witchcraft charm thee.
Ghost
unlaid forbear thee.
Nothing
ill come near thee.
Quiet
consummation have
And
renowned be thy grave.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet) (cont’d)
Where's
Imogen gotten to? I wanted to rape - I
mean, woo her away from her absent husband.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
I
hear she's spirited away to meet her exiled husband in Milford Haven.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet)
Excellent! Two birds, one stone.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
What
was that, my lord?
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet)
Buzz
off, doc. Time for a soliloquy to tell
the audience my secret plan.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
If
you tell the audience, is it really a secret anymore?
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet)
A
secret from the other characters, you fool!
The audience doesn't count. They
can't tell anyone.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
Spoiler
alert.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet)
Be
gone.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
Gone,
my lord, consider me.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet)
Imogen
just hasn't given me a proper chance to fight for her affections.
I mean,
how good can sex with a person of the lower classes really be, am I right?
Don't
answer that!
It's
time to level the playing field, and by that I mean clear the playing field.
First,
since she likes his clothes so much, I'm going to take an outfit from
Posthumus' wardrobe and wear it myself.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN, puppet) approaches a clothes rack
of costumes.
This could be manifested in a couple of different
ways. It could be a rack with a bunch of
generic gray outfits and one outfit that’s colorful and really stands out.
It could be a rack that has multiple duplicates of
the costume that ACTRESS 2 is already wearing to portray Posthumus.
Either way, there could be a small puppet-sized
version of the outfit hanging inside the human outfit on the same clothes
hanger.
Or it could be a rack that’s actually puppet-sized,
with variations on the theme above.
Use your imagination, have fun.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet) (cont’d)
Wow,
she wasn't kidding, this guy has a lot of clothes.
Very
nice clothes.
But
anyone can wear nice clothes.
I
can look just nice in them as he can.
And
so I shall.
I
will follow them to Milford Haven.
I
will kill Posthumus.
And
then I will rape, kidnap and marry Imogen.
Or,
I will kidnap, rape and marry Imogen.
Or,
I will marry, kidnap and rape Imogen.
I've
never been properly married before, so it's hard to know the order in which to
do these things correctly.
I
suppose you can't really kidnap or rape your wife, so I guess I would marry her
last, rather than first.
And
if I rape her first, it seems silly to kidnap her after that.
So
I suppose the appropriate order to these things would be first to kill
Posthumus, then, as that will no doubt be upsetting for her, to give her a
little time to warm up to me, I'll kidnap her first. Then if she still needs convincing what a
great husband I'll be, I'll do the raping, as sort of a preview of what a great
lover I am. But we have to pretend she
doesn't want it, so it doesn't really count, and she can be a virgin on our
wedding night, with me at least, on sort of a technicality. So, rape.
Then
having distanced ourselves appropriately from the murder and the kidnapping,
and having taken my goods for a test drive, she's sure to be more agreeable so
- time for marriage!
Oh
relax, you know none of that actually happens.
Posthumus
already told you he lives, and we've all weighed in on the fact that I get my
head cut off.
Granted,
you don't know that I get my head cut off before I can do any of that so, oops.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
Spoiler
alert.
ACTOR 1 (CLOTEN,
puppet)
I
thought you were gone.
ACTRESS 2 (CORNELIUS,
puppet)
Yes,
my lord. Dressing in your rival's
clothes. Great idea. What could possibly go wrong?
(to
be continued)
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