Saturday, November 24, 2018

November Writing Challenge 2018 - 23 - Facebook Fight



THE TWENTY-THIRD CHALLENGE

Facebook Fight


SO A FRIEND OF MINE WROTE about the above link

Hey, Bill Maher, you classless twit, maybe if more people in this country read comics, they would have recognized the poorly written one-dimensional would-be cartoon super villain currently in the White House for the bad rip-off of Lex Luthor that he is.

To which I wrote:

Huh! I totally agree with him though. "The problem is, we’re using our smarts on stupid stuff. I don’t think it’s a huge stretch to suggest that Donald Trump could only get elected in a country that thinks comic books are important." What's classless about what he wrote? Don't we have a problem in this country distinguishing between actual smart people and people who act like smart people?

And then

Maher's complaint is that "adults decided they didn’t have to give up kid stuff. And so they pretended comic books were actually sophisticated literature." It's about maturity, not intelligence. I, too, am confused by my fellow adults who keep gobbling up the same formulaic, shallow stories about magic authority figures removing our agency and saving us from our own problems. It's daddy-worship. It's kids stuff. AND it can be a fun night out. To hold Stan Lee up alongside the much more complex (and less blindly problematic) stories of great artists seems strange. Stan Lee is Jr High Doctor Seuss. That's not nothing, but it's nowhere near the top. I'm told that even inside the format of the graphic novel, he's nowhere near the top.

It’s dumb. The whole thing is dumb re: my involvement in any way wasting my time on this.

So the challenge is to stage a Facebook fight.

It can be about anything, but this Stan Lee subject has legs.

Structure: FANTASY COMEDY SANDWICH - where seriousness is the bread and comedy breaks out in the middle.

Put it inside some other event like a first date, funeral, or wedding. The fight is happening in the ether all around Greek Chorus style.

Rules:

Someone has to reference Hitler

Someone has to call someone racist

Someone has to post a ton of links to bad sources and someone has to call them out

Someone has to become a GIF troll

NO FOURTH WALL

No computer should ever be on stage.

***********************



(I’d say I hate the internet, but I’m blogging, and participating in an online writing challenge, so that seems silly.  I guess I hate internet fights, but that’s probably why I should try this one, too.  Later.

Right now I’m within striking distance of the end of the play, so I’m gonna push on.  Next scene for Spellbound.

Previous scenes here, here, here, here, here, here and here – and then, this one)



Lights shift, slowly.

AUGGIE and SARAH fade into the dark as

The metaphysical supply store appears.

MICAH arrives to join a waiting JEFFREY and DUNCAN.

                          MICAH
     (to DUNCAN)
I’m sorry.  It looks, from the hours posted on the door, like you’re supposed to be closed already.

                          DUNCAN
It’s no bother.  You guys, collectively, are sort of both my first and last customers of the day.  I appreciate the symmetry.  Plus I was curious how it all turned out.

                          JEFFREY
We were starting to get a little worried about you.

                          MICAH
Oh, so now you’re worried?

                          JEFFREY
Hey.

                          MICAH
I just needed to take a minute, OK?  Walk around, clear my head.

                          DUNCAN
You walked here?

                          MICAH
I actually don’t live all that far away. 

                          JEFFREY
Which is why I was worried.

                          MICAH
I don’t know why I never noticed this store was here before.  Or what it was for.  Weird, the things that are a part of your neighborhood but not a part of your life.

                          JEFFREY
What you texted before.  The potion.  It worked?

                          MICAH
First time’s the charm.  You’re two for two.

                          JEFFREY
Well, I had help this time around.  That greatly improved our odds.

                          MICAH
     (to DUNCAN)
Thanks.

                          DUNCAN
Sarah did most of the heavy lifting on this one.  We were just along for the ride.  Plus, this was the store that sold your friend the ingredients for the love potion in the first place.  I felt more than a little responsible.

                          MICAH
But you and this store also got us the ingredients to undo the mess so, thanks.

                          DUNCAN
You’re welcome.  I’m sorry there was something to be undone in the first place.

                          MICAH
Same here.

DUNCAN offers his hand.

                          DUNCAN
I’m Duncan.

MICAH takes Duncan’s hand.

                          MICAH
Micah.

                          DUNCAN
Heard a lot about you today.

                          MICAH
Trusting and gullible.  Not my best qualities.  And not the best first impression.

                          DUNCAN
I don’t know that there’s anything wrong with being trusting.

                          MICAH
Yeah, but trusting the wrong people?  That just shows a lack of perceptiveness, or common sense.

                          JEFFREY
You wanna have this discussion directly rather than through a third party?

                          MICAH
Honestly?  No.  I don’t want to talk to you at all.  Except this, this I should say to your face – he tried to rape me this afternoon, that’s how strongly your little chemistry experiment had him feeling about me.

                          JEFFREY
     (before he has a chance to stop himself)
Well, you can’t rape the willing.

MICAH hauls off and decks JEFFREY.

JEFFREY crumples to the floor, genuinely shocked.

DUNCAN quickly gets between them.  He may have to hold MICAH back.

                          DUNCAN
Whoa.  Hang on.  Everybody just take a second.  Cool down.

                          MICAH
You still just don’t get it, do you?!

                          JEFFREY
What the hell, Micah?

There’s a tense standoff for a moment.

                          DUNCAN
     (to JEFFREY)
Maybe you should go.

                          JEFFREY
Yeah, maybe I should.

JEFFREY heads to the exit with his grandmother’s grimoire under his arm.

                          MICAH
You should do the world a favor and burn that damn book.  Or at least lock it up somewhere safe until you figure out what the hell you’re doing.

JEFFREY turns at the door to look back at DUNCAN and MICAH.

Seeing the way MICAH looks at him, JEFFREY looks for the first time like he understands there was a cost to what he’s done, and it genuinely bothers him.

                          JEFFREY
I know it doesn’t mean much, and you probably don’t believe me right now, but I’m sorry.

JEFFREY quickly goes.

MICAH breaks away from DUNCAN but not to go for the door.

DUNCAN lets him pace.

                          MICAH
I’m sorry, too.  I shouldn’t have done that here.  I just – don’t know what to do.

                          DUNCAN
It’s hard not being in control.

                          MICAH
I wasn’t under the influence of that spell.

                          DUNCAN
No, but you had to deal directly with the consequences of it, and it sounds like it was more than a little scary.

                          MICAH
In some ways, I had my best friend in a whole new way, but I was losing him at the same time, and I don’t know if we can –

He can’t finish.

                          DUNCAN
If the friendship is as strong as everyone has been saying it is, you guys can find a way to survive this.  It’s just going to take some time.

                          MICAH
Yeah.  Sorry again.

                          DUNCAN
Don’t be.  I’m sorry this is your first impression of Wiccans and pagans.  They can actually be really great.  The practices can bring a real sense of peace and harmony, like any good belief system, when it’s working properly.

                          MICAH
I’m sure.  Sarah’s always seemed really great.  I mean, I didn’t know she was a witch until yesterday, but Auggie loves her and she loves him so – and you seem nice.

                          DUNCAN
Thanks.  Again, we all could have met under better circumstances.

                          MICAH
Yeah.

                          DUNCAN
Is there anything I can do for you?

                          MICAH
You have a potion to make people forget?

                          DUNCAN
Nope.

                          MICAH
     (smiles weakly)
Well, gee, what good are witches, then?

                          DUNCAN
Wouldn’t help anyway.

                          MICAH
Why not?

                          DUNCAN
If I just gave it to you, other people would still know.

                          MICAH
Suppose we can’t dose everyone in the inner circle, can we?

                          DUNCAN
Nope.
Sarah and I would probably see you coming.
And Jeffrey.

                          MICAH
Even Auggie should have the good sense not to trust me anymore, you’re right.

                          DUNCAN
I didn’t mean it like that.

                          MICAH
Yeah, I know.
I’d still take it.

                          DUNCAN
Really?  You’d still see something in your friends’ eyes.  They might tell you why, someday.  Then you’d still end up knowing.

                          MICAH
Yeah, but maybe I could stop feeling this way.  At least for a little while.

                          DUNCAN
It won’t go away.  But it can get better.

                          MICAH
I’d honestly just like to skip to “better” right now.

                          DUNCAN
Yeah, I get that.

                          MICAH
I’m sorry.  I should let you lock up and turn off the lights.  You’re closed.  You’ve been closed.

                          DUNCAN
You should let me walk you home.

                          MICAH
I think I’ve been enough hassle for you for one day.

                          DUNCAN
That’s why I didn’t phrase it as a question.

                          MICAH
Oh.  OK.



(to be continued)



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