THE TWENTY-SIXTH
CHALLENGE
Stonings and Hangings
So, based on my super boring definition of theatrical energy (heretofore
uncontested as the definitive definition of theater ever assembled in the English
language)… are public stonings and hangings theater?
Let’s do one and find
out.
First, find a
religious or governmental text that demands punishment by death.
Then…
CHALLENGE: Kill someone on stage for committing a
crime.
Get yer hackles up!
Be cruel. CRUEL.
Also, elevate this
villain. Make the cruelty a necessity for proper cleansing.
NO FOURTH WALL (duh-
fourth walls suck)
Heck, invite the
audience to participate.
Use social media in
some way, if you can stomach it. I know a lot of you HATE social media on stage
because, well, it’s something nobody has really mastered yet.
CONSIDER DAMON AND
PYTHIAS
THIS IS NOT A COMEDY
(unless you want it to b … and then chuckle away ya freaky goofball!)
DO NOT KILL THE
PRESIDENT (that’s tomorrow. killing the president is more of a Tuesday thing.
Monday is cleaning. Wednesday is laundry.)
THIS IS A RAIN DANCE
(probably- it’s also totally possible to make this a calm sacrificial campfire
story—- but you heavily risk sliding back into morality tale)
Consider
non-proscenium staging. This is a good elevated round or alley moment. Why does
that matter for how you write?
Well, it’s about what
works best in each.
Elevated
round is about hope and judgement
Compare
contrast and time shifts are best in alley.
Don’t believe me?
Don’t worry! I’m just making it up…. but I’m right though. I am.
Is arrogance a crime
worthy of a death sentence?
(Once again, I’m
dipping into the wayback machine and calling up another prompt instead - below,
given my own current parent visitation situation)
My parents are visiting
Sorry for delays
I’m feeling all Doogie Howser here….
So write a play about parents.
But mess with time.
THE NINETEENTH CHALLENGE: WRITE A
TIME-FLUID PARENTAL PLAY
Like start with an egg- or start
with a LITERAL TWINKLE IN AN EYE
And by the end, with death and a
reunion of sorts. It can be- should be- something a bit more fantastical
magical ethereal than like 6th grader Heaven.
If you’re a hardcore blackbelt
atheist, then make your NOTHINGNESS beautiful, you temporal breeder (for the
purposes of art).
Don’t: get cute.
Do: get sappy
When you mess with convention, it
disrupts the audience and if they have to think, they can’t feel. So give them
instant connections to allow them to stop thinking, and start feeling.
Nobody wants to have to THINK
about your goddamn play until you’ve given us the gift of feeling something
real. Then, we’ll think all by ourselves without any help from you AT ALL.
You are not a thinker maker. You
are a playwright.
****************
Two
male strangers on a light rail train.
One
in his 20s, one in his 50s.
They
make, then avoid, eye contact the way male strangers in particular do.
50s
suddenly has a SHADOW talking in his ear.
SHADOW
Do
*not* look at him again. It’s asking for
trouble.
50s
We’re
having this conversation inside my head, right?
This is in no way my out loud voice.
SHADOW
Safe
space, yes.
50s
You
look, I can’t. Is he gonna kick my ass?
SHADOW
Does
he look angry? No.
50s
Good.
SHADOW
Would
he be angry if he knew how closely you were watching his arms in short sleeves
earlier and how disappointed you were when he pulled his coat back on? Probably.
50s
But
he doesn’t know.
SHADOW
Lucky
you.
50s
It’s
4am. I’m headed for a pre-dawn flight
out of town, and I don’t want to dwell too much on the reason why. Allow me a distraction.
SHADOW
Ooops,
he’s coming over. Don’t look him up and
down. Don’t hold direct eye contact for
too long. If you can manage it, lower
your voice an octave.
20s
Where
are you getting off?
SHADOW
For
so very many reasons do not answer that question the way your penis wants you
to answer that question.
50s
I’m
headed to the airport. Terminal 2.
20s nods, retreats into himself again.
SHADOW
Wanna
give him your flight number while you’re at it?
50s
Where
are you trying to get to?
20s
Brooklyn
Park.
50s
Yeah,
I don’t know the route that well, except to or from the airport out of downtown. I’m not sure where to tell you to get off, or
even if this is the right train. Sorry.
20s
Not
quite awake.
50s
Me
neither.
20s
Late
night?
50s
Early
morning. I’m going to visit my
father. His health’s not so good right
now.
20s
Life
sucks, man.
50s
He’s
not really sick or anything. He’s just
old. Done. He’s being well cared for. He’s had a good long life.
20s
Well,
if he was holding you back from anything, now you can live your best life.
50s
(to SHADOW)
Is
that a comment about my father or his?
SHADOW
Don’t
probe too deeply.
50s
(to 20s)
No,
things are good. My dad and I have said
all we need to say to each other.
SHADOW
You’re
assuming he knows that’s a positive thing, that you and your father have said
positive things. He could think you
mean, “I’m done with that old man, I told him to fuck off.”
20s
I
don’t know, man. I’m 21. My mom, she’s like 54. She’s getting to that age when things are
gonna start to happen to her.
50s
(to SHADOW)
How
young does this guy think I am? I could
be his mother, er, father.
SHADOW
Do
not think the word Daddy. Do not think
the word Daddy.
20s
I got
a son, man. He’s five.
SHADOW
Don’t
do the math. Don’t do the math. Don’t do the math.
50s
(to SHADOW)
He
got a girl pregnant when he was just 16, more likely 15?! I was so closeted I was afraid to admit I was
gay even to myself, much less do anything about it.
20s
I
wanna raise him right, man, you know? Gotta
live your best life, man. Straight, gay,
bi, we’ve just gotta do what we do.
50s
(to SHADOW)
Where
exactly did that come from?
SHADOW
Your
brain just short-circuited, didn’t it?
50s
(to SHADOW)
Part
of me’s thinking – that’s an amazing thing for a father of a young kid to say,
you should encourage that instinct.
Part
of me’s thinking – does he know I’m gay and is trying to say he’s cool with it,
but, you know, it’s not his thing.
Part
of me’s thinking – is he trying to tell me something about him? And if so, why?
SHADOW
He
is not flirting with you.
I
am – fairly certain of that.
50s
(to SHADOW)
I
let that go by in silence. Smiling,
nodding, encouraging silence. But
silence. I’m going to kick myself for
that later. For so many reasons.
20s
I’m
supposed to pick him up after I get off work, take him to his first wrestling
practice.
50s
That’s
great. I mean, what kind of wrestling
can they really do at five, right? But
it’s great, that he wants to be part of a team.
It’s good to start that young.
(to SHADOW)
I
am a moron. Not everything needs a lame
joke in the middle of it. Just support
someone who wants to be a father to his son.
20s
Right
now I wrestle with him, and I have to pretend to let him pin me. Otherwise –
50s
Well,
before you know it he’ll be the age you are now, and then he really will be able
to flip you over.
SHADOW
Oh
my god, that’s adorable.
50s
(to SHADOW)
You’re
not helping me here.
Don’t
think about wrestlers. Don’t think about
wrestlers.
50s
(to SHADOW)
Well,
I wasn’t till you said that. Now I’m
thinking about crushes I had in high school and college, thanks a lot.
SHADOW
Tell
him what you mean about your father.
Tell him how to be a good father.
50s
(to SHADOW)
What
do I know about being a good father?
SHADOW
How
can you pass up an opportunity to talk about your goddaughter? It’s your only safe harbor when discussion of
kids is concerned.
50s
I
don’t even know if I’m doing that right.
SHADOW
When
has that stopped you from going on about her before? But fine, tell him about your dad.
50s
What?
SHADOW
Why
have you said all you need to say to each other?
50s
You
don’t tell a stranger that you and your dad tell each other “I love you.”
SHADOW
Are
you fucking kidding me? That’s exactly
what you tell the 21 year old father of a five year old.
50s
That
my father never ended a conversation without saying “I love you. I’m proud of you.” Even when you weren’t sure you’d done
anything in particular to be proud of?
SHADOW
Yes!
50s
How
do you say that to a stranger on a train?
SHADOW
You
say it because that’s the thing a 21 year old father of a five year old boy
needs to hear about how to be a good father.
How to be a father who never regrets the way he helped raise his boy to
be a man. How not to leave the stupid,
simple but HUGE things unsaid, even when they seem so small, and seem like they
don’t need repeating.
50s
This
is happening in real time. At four in
the morning. My brain doesn’t work that
fast.
SHADOW
You’re
going to kick yourself later.
50s
Probably.
(to 20s)
Fathers
and sons, right?
20s and 50s smile at each other, nod.
50s (cont’d)
Coming
up on my stop.
Good
luck, getting where you’re going.
And
enjoy the time with your son.
It
goes by fast.
Just
ask my dad.
50s steps out of the train, SHADOW on his heels.
20s fades slowly into the darkness.
SHADOW
You
know something else you’re going to kick yourself about later?
50s
What?
SHADOW
You
had the perfect, non-creepy opportunity and –
50s
I
never asked him his name.
SHADOW
Yup.
50s facepalms himself.
SHADOW mirrors the same motion alongside him.
Lights shift.
50s and SHADOW fade into the darkness.
A voice in the dark says:
VOICE
The
moving walkway is ending. Please attend
to children. And watch your step.
20s appears, wrestling with his five year old kid.
VOICE
The
moving walkway is ending. Please attend
to children. And watch your step.
A MAN in his 30s in a white T-shirt and slacks,
straight out of a black and white photograph from the 1960s, lies in a bed with
a baby on his chest. Both enormously
content together.
VOICE
The
moving walkway is ending. Please attend
to children. And watch your step.
50s is in his DAD’s room at the retirement
home. 50s rests his head on his DAD’s
chest as he sits in a chair beside the bed.
His DAD’s breath is labored.
50s
I
love you, Dad.
DAD
(with great effort)
I
love you, too, son. I’m proud of you.
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